OKAY, YOU SMOKE WEED, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT

!!!BROAD GENERALIZATION UNFAIRLY ATTACKING A GROUP OF PEOPLE ALERT!!!
I KNOW THIS POST DOESN'T REPRESENT EVERYONE, IT JUST COVERS EVERYONE THAT I HATE, SO FUCK OFF.

HEY FUCKFACE, GUESS WHAT? NO ONE GIVES A SHIT THAT YOU SMOKE WEED, JUST LIKE NO ONE GIVES A SHIT THAT I DRINK CAFFEINE. WHY DOES EVERY FUCKING POTHEAD THINK WE'RE ALL JUST DYING TO KNOW WHEN THEY'RE HIGH OR WHEN THEY'RE SUCKING ON A FUCKING BONG? IF YOU WANT TO SMOKE WEED, FINE, I DON'T GIVE A DICK- JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT FOR 5 FUCKING MINUTES AND STOP INJECTING IT INTO EVERYTHING YOU TALK ABOUT. I GET PISSED OFF WHEN ANYONE DOES THAT WITH ANYTHING, BUT YOU SHITSMOKERS SEEM TO DO IT THE MOST. I ALSO HATE THE, "WELL AT LEAST IT'S NOT [HARD DRUG HERE], WHY CARE SO MUCH?" ARGUMENT, WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT; HOW ABOUT IF 24/7 ALL I TALKED ABOUT WAS PAINTING DICKS? EVERYTHING I POSTED ONLINE WAS ABOUT PAINTING DICKS, ALL MY STUFF HAD DICK PAINTING REFERENCES ON IT, MY USERNAME WAS "DICKPAINTER992", THEN WHEN YOU GOT ANNOYED AND TOLD ME TO CUT THAT SHIT OUT, I SAID, "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? AT LEAST IT'S NOT SHITTING ON BABIES. LIGHTEN UP!" YEAH, SOUNDS STUPID DOESN'T IT? WELL GOD DAMMIT SO DO YOU. YOU KNOW I WISH IT WAS [HARD DRUG HERE] CAUSE AT LEAST HEROIN ADDICTS AND METH HEADS DON'T BOAST ABOUT IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND POST PICTURES OF USED NEEDLES AND PIPES ON THEIR SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES LIKE GIANT CUM STAINS. ALSO, STOP DOING THAT VOCAL FRY THING WHEN YOU TALK AS IF YOU'RE STILL HOLDING IN A TOKE, YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING CUNT.

TAKE A BIG SHIT AND LIGHT UP THAT FAT ONE.

FUCK YOUR BRIGHT ASS BLUE HEADLIGHTS

FUCK EVERY SON OF A BITCH ON THE ROAD WITH HALOGEN HEADLIGHTS. THEY'RE BRIGHTER THAN THE FUCKING SUN AND THEY'LL MELT YOUR FUCKING EYEBALLS OUT FROM A MILE AWAY. IF REGULAR HEADLIGHTS JUST AREN'T BRIGHT ENOUGH FOR YOU THEN STOP DRIVING AT NIGHT YOU SHIT SNORTING COCKSUCKER. JUST USE REGULAR HEADLIGHTS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND QUIT DRIVING AROUND WITH FUCKING DEATH RAYS ON THE FRONT OF YOUR CAR. NO ONE LIKES THEM BUT YOU AND YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

TAKE A DRIVE THROUGH A SHIT TUNNEL.

HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING IT OFF AND KILLING YOURSELF?

(A FUCKING GUEST RANT FROM SUPERDUNNMAN)

HEY FUCKNUGGET, YOU ASKED ME TO COME FIX YOUR COMPUTER. FINE. BUT WHEN I SHOW UP I NEED YOU TO LEAVE THE ROOM. GO PLAY WITH YOUR FUCKING STUPID KIDS, GO SUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND OFF, GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH, I DON'T CARE AS LONG AS YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE. YOUR CONSTANT WORRYING CRIES OF "ARE YOU SURE?" ARE DRIVING ME TO THE POINT OF A MURDER/SUICIDE, AND YOU CAN GUESS WHICH PART OF THAT OPERATION YOU'RE GOING TO BE. LET ME FUCKING WORK ON YOUR SHITTY COMPUTER THAT YOU BOUGHT EIGHT YEARS AGO FOR SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS AND SOMEHOW EXPECT IT TO WORK LIKE THE DAY YOU GOT IT. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE I WAS TEN YEARS OLD AND YOU CAN'T EVEN FIND THE WINDOWS CONTROL PANEL. I'M GOING TO REMOVE ALL THE SPYWARE YOU INHERITED FROM JACKING OFF TO TWO GIRLS ONE CUP, FIX YOUR SHIT, AND LEAVE WITH ZERO GRATITUDE BECAUSE BEING A COMPUTER SPECIALIST MEANS THAT YOU GET SHIT ON. EVEN MECHANIC FRIENDS GET PAID, I DON'T EVEN GET DINNER.

NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO HACK THE MAINFRAME ON MY DICK.

FUCK BUYING SHOES

DO I WEAR A 9 1/2 OR A 10? OR A 10 1/2? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW CAUSE EVERY TIME I GO TO BUY A PAIR OF SHITTY FUCKING SHOES I HAVE TO GET A DIFFERENT SIZE. WHY BOTHER PUTTING A FUCKING SIZE ON THE BOX IF IT'S WILDLY INCONSISTENT WITH EVERY OTHER FUCKING SHOE? I DON'T GO BUY A FUCKING MOTHERBOARD AND GO, "HMM, DO I NEED ATX OR MICROATX? I DON'T KNOW CAUSE IT COULD BE 30 FUCKING FEET LONGER THAN MY CURRENT BOARD." CAUSE THAT WOULD BE FUCKING STUPID AND RENDER THE SIZES MEANINGLESS, AND THAT'S SOMETHING ONLY A FUCKING ASSHOLE WOULD DO.

HOW ABOUT MY SHOE IN YOUR ASS.

YOU AREN'T AN ARTIST YOU'RE A FUCKING TOOL

I AM SICK AND GOD DAMN TIRED OF SEEING "ARTISTS" WHO HAVE ALL THEIR FUCKING MATERIAL GHOST WRITTEN BEING CALLED ARTISTS, THEY AREN'T ARTISTS THEY'RE FUCKING PRESENTERS. YOU DON'T CALL THE FUCKING WALL THAT ART HANGS ON "ART" JUST LIKE YOU WOULDN'T CALL THE DIPSHIT ON STAGE PERFORMING OTHER PEOPLES' FUCKING MUSIC AN ARTIST. THEY'RE PRESENTING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK; THEY AREN'T ARTISTS THEY'RE TOOLS. IF THEY WRITE THEIR OWN MATERIAL, REGARDLESS OF THE QUALITY, THEN YES THEY'RE A FUCKING ARTIST. BUT IF THEY'RE ON STAGE OR IN THE BOOTH RECORDING ANOTHER DICKHEAD'S MATERIAL, THEY AREN'T. A FUCKING. ARTIST.

DARK WHORES

WHO THE FUCK WATCHES TV ANYMORE?

WHY THE FUCK DOES ANYONE STILL WATCH TV NOW THAT THE INTERNET IS A THING? IT'S A WASTE OF FUCKING MONEY AND ALMOST EVERYTHING ON IT SUCKS A CAT'S SHIT BOX. OH BOY I SURE LOVE WATCHING MY FAVORITE SHOW ABOUT WHITE TRASH WHORES IN 10 SECOND INTERVALS WITH BREAKS IN BETWEEN TO WATCH THE SAME SHITTY COMMERCIALS AGAIN. WHAT A LOAD OF FUCK, IT'S JUST A BOX FULL OF SHIT AND DRAMA WITH 300 CHANNELS SHOWING THE SAME REALITY SHOW WITH DIFFERENT FUCKING DUMBASSES IN THEM. THE ONLY SHOWS WORTH WATCHING CAN BE FOUND ON THE INTERNET, SO WHY THE FUCK BOTHER WITH TVS? WHY PAY FOR TV WHEN THE INTERNET IS A FUCKING GATEWAY TO EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER LOVE SITTING ON YOUR FUCKING DESK? OH YEAH, CAUSE YOU'RE TOO FUCKING FAT TO STAND UP AND WALK TO YOUR COMPUTER DESK.

BROADCAST MY ASSHOLE.

LEARN HOW TO DRIVE SHITNOSE (PT. 2)

IF YOU MISSED YOUR TURN, TURN AT THE NEXT LIGHT ASSHOLE, DON'T FUCKING SIT THERE HALFWAY IN MY LANE AND HALFWAY IN THE TURN LANE YOU SELFISH FUCK. I WAS GOING TO LUNCH LAST WEEK WHEN THIS ASSMASTER IN FRONT OF ME STARTS EASING HIS WAY INTO THE TURN LANE, BLOCKING OFF MY FUCKING LANE WITH THE BACK OF HIS CAR. MY LIGHT TURNS GREEN AND I CAN'T GO CAUSE THIS SHIT SNIFFER COULDN'T JUST U-TURN AT THE NEXT FUCKING LIGHT. SO NOW I'M SITTING THERE WITH MY THUMB UP MY ASS TRYING TO GET OVER TO THE NEXT LANE SO I CAN FUCKING GO BUT I END UP MISSING THE GREEN LIGHT ANYWAY. I HOPE YOU GOT TO WHERE YOU WERE GOING THAT WAS SO GOD DAMN IMPORTANT FUCKFACE, AND I HOPE THAT WHEN YOU GOT THERE YOU HAD YOUR DICK RIPPED OFF AND SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN MOTHER YOU INCONSIDERATE SACK OF SHIT.

TURN LEFT OFF A FUCKING CLIFF.